Ten pounds gone!

I finally hit the ten pound mark today! Of course, it's entirely my fault that I got sidetracked and took so long to do it. Almost seven weeks, yikes. That's better than nothing, of course, so I won't complain.

I just looked at the blog of someone who just reached her goal weight. And I am crying because it gave me so much hope. I am secretly terrified of aging and I have been so scared that when the fat leaves my face, I will look older. I have seen lots of people that happens to but I guess it's because they are older. This woman is also in her 40's and she looks so much younger now. Wow! What an incentive to keep going!

I have been busy with a big project at my son's school and so I am having to interact with people. I don't like to do that much and it's partially because I am fat. But it's really because I'm weird. And no one wants to be the weird fat lady. You can better get away with the weird when you're stylish. Now, that's not to say that fat people can't be stylish, they certainly can. But I am not. I am a very casual kind of gal. I wear my Halloween t-shirts year-round. That's just one of my quirks. Weird, fat lady. I'm so afraid that's me. But I was thinking about that today and how even if people really aren't thinking that (and I hope they're not) that people don't know the real me. This sad, sloppy person isn't who I am. Well, ok, even when I get thin I'll probably still schlep up to school in leggings and a t-shirt, but you can get away with that better when you're thin. You ever notice that? A fat lady throws her hair up and runs out the door in sweats and no makeup she's a slob, a skinny gal does it and it's so refreshing to see someone go natural! Pffft. I need to get my groove back.

Another thing I was thinking during this discourse with myself is that I am so tired of my life not being what I want it to be, but the saddest part of that is that the things that need fixing are totally fixable, I just "ain't done it." I'm trying now though. Ten pounds gone and I am even tackling Mount Washmore in my bedroom. I will get where I want to be. Maybe not as quickly as I'd like but I'll get there.